Dating Red Flags Assessment

A guided dating safety reflection that helps you notice disrespect, pressure, control, isolation, inconsistency, and unsafe patterns early.

Category 1 of 4

Respect and Safety

How clearly you notice disrespect, fear, intimidation, humiliation, and unsafe behaviour in dating.

Question 1 of 3 When someone insults, threatens, handles you roughly, or intimidates you, how seriously do you take it?

I may excuse it if the person apologises later. I notice it, but I can minimise it. It depends on how serious it looks. I take it seriously and slow down. I treat safety and dignity as non-negotiable.

Question 2 of 3 When someone mocks your values, faith, studies, work, family, or future goals, what do you do?

I may ignore it to keep the relationship. I feel hurt but struggle to respond. Sometimes I respond and sometimes I keep quiet. I usually name the disrespect. I protect my dignity and pay attention to the pattern.

Question 3 of 3 When jealousy, phone-checking, stalking, or control is presented as love, how do you read it?

I may confuse it with love or seriousness. I feel uneasy but can still excuse it. I am still learning the difference. I usually recognise it as control. I can clearly separate love from control.

Boundaries and Support

How well you protect limits, privacy, support systems, and outside relationships.

Question 1 of 3 When you need to say no to visits, touching, photos, messages, or plans, what happens?

I feel forced to agree or over-explain. I say no, but guilt is strong. Sometimes I hold the boundary and sometimes I bend. I can usually say no clearly. I can say no without surrendering dignity or safety.

Question 2 of 3 When dating starts, what happens to your friendships, family connection, mentor support, church, or community?

I may become isolated quickly. Some support remains, but the relationship takes over. It depends on the relationship. I usually keep healthy support around me. I protect my support system and do not disappear into dating.

Question 3 of 3 When someone asks for intimate photos, passwords, or private information to prove love, what are you likely to do?

I may give in because I fear losing the person. I feel pressured and unsure what to do. I would need support to decide. I usually protect my privacy. I know love does not require surrendering privacy or safety.

Pressure and Control

How quickly you notice pressure, control, rushed commitment, coercion, or unhealthy power differences.

Question 1 of 3 When gifts, airtime, data, transport money, accommodation, or favours are used in dating, how alert are you to pressure?

I may feel indebted and trapped. I notice pressure only after it grows. Sometimes I notice and sometimes I miss it. I usually watch for hidden expectations. I can receive kindness without allowing control.

Question 2 of 3 When someone wants to move fast with sex, moving in, engagement, marriage talk, or secrecy, what do you do?

I may move faster than feels wise. I slow down only after anxiety grows. It depends on the pressure. I usually slow down and think. I protect pace, peace, and wise timing.

Question 3 of 3 When age, money, status, job promises, school fees, or transport create power over you, how clearly do you see it?

I may not notice the power imbalance. I notice it late. I am still learning to read it. I usually notice when power becomes unhealthy. I can see power imbalance early and protect myself.

Trust and Consistency

How carefully you compare words, actions, honesty, online behaviour, and behaviour under disappointment.

Question 1 of 3 When someone says one thing but behaves differently, what do you trust most?

I may trust words more than patterns. I notice mismatch but wait too long. Sometimes I compare words and actions. I usually watch the pattern. I trust consistent behaviour more than promises.

Question 2 of 3 When someone lies repeatedly, hides relationships, uses secret accounts, or disappears without explanation, what do you do?

I may excuse it because I care. I question it but stay confused. It depends on the explanation. I take the pattern seriously. I treat repeated dishonesty as a major warning sign.

Question 3 of 3 When someone is angry, disappointed, rejected, or told no, what do you watch for?

I may ignore that behaviour if good moments feel strong. I notice it, but can explain it away. I am still learning what to watch. I usually watch how character shows under pressure. I pay close attention because pressure reveals patterns.

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